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Feral Finster's avatar

"Most humans say that they want liberty, but what they really want are kindlier masters." - Sallust

"If all roads lead to Rome, even when you walk away from Rome, you still are on the Roman road."-Ursula K. LeGuin

John Ham's avatar

There are HR textbooks? Now that's a horrifying thought. Lessons in turning people into objects, plug in where needed, discard at will. I recently retired at age 88. I was a classroom teacher of mostly history and English, but a number of other subjects here and there, for 63 years. It was satisfying but more so in the first 50 years. The academic version of the nonsense described in the essay began to pile up. Even then I was fortunate because all those years had allowed me to acquire a reputation for gravitas that to a large degree exempted me from the full weight of soul crushing Orwellian nonsense that afflicted my colleagues who, younger and aspiring, felt constrained to play the game only to discover that it was no game. If they had read 1984, they began to realize that there was an O'Brien in HR. Too many had not. I taught a course in the History of China, visited China more than once, and do so revived my interest in Zen Buddhism, which was becoming all the rage when I was young. I have a short shelf of books discussing Ch'an and have been immersed in the history of Chinese thought recently. The Jung or Freud figure (you) asked 'you' for a spontaneous response. It is difficult to simply answer as your inner self. Difficult to put aside all of the intellections, protections, barriers that form the public self, the office self, the social self and be honest even when entirely alone. What is the wordless insight of Buddha's teaching? Exactly where you are whenyou give up that self you happen to be in the great unfolding of things.

Sam Redlark's avatar

For practically his entire adult life, my Grandfather worked for Shell Oil. He started out somewhere close to the bottom of the company. When he retired, he was on the board of directors. In our dystopian present, where the activities of large corporate entities are frequently baffling and opaque, and where the salaries of executives have skyrocketed beyond the realm of old-fashioned eight digit calculators, the Shell of my Grandfather's era appears almost quaint by comparison. People stayed with the company a long time. Friendships were formed that extended beyond work. Every year, after my Grandfather died, Shell would send someone to check-up on my Grandmother, just to make sure she was okay. It was somebody she knew – somebody with whom my Grandfather had worked.

A few years ago, I contacted Shell. I asked them whether they might be able to provide me with a bit of background regarding what my Grandfather had done within the company. They did at least have the decency to reply, but that was all. They weren't prepared to divulge any information. For a while, he was a figure of influence at the company. Many decades later, I doubt that there is anyone left there who remembers him. The majority of his contemporaries are gone from this world, their names and their faces lost in time. I can imagine somebody coming across his framed black and white head shot, pushed to the back of a cupboard – a middle-aged white man wearing thick-rimmed glasses – an easy figure to disparage if you know nothing of his story, or do not care to know it.

Forgotten though he may be by his former employers, my Grandfather is remembered by his family. His influence continues to ripple through our lives. When those who remember him directly are gone it will still be there. We are where we are because of what he did.

I used to work in an admin position on a hospital ward. It was a very poorly paid job but I liked it. There was a large cohort of staff involved in the care and treatment of patients. One day, someone would go on maternity leave and then, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, they would be back, showing off their newborn baby. The same thing happened with birthdays. Time seemed to be blurring past. I realised that I needed something, besides work and besides my relationships with family and friends, that would give my life meaning and value. It had to be something that I could do almost everyday and that couldn't easily be taken from me.

I started writing. All you need is a pen and paper. Eventually I left the hospital. I doubt that I am remembered there. I never stopped writing, though I am mediocre at it, and though the written word has brought me neither fame nor fortune. I can say, this is where I stood my ground. I did it, not because I had to, but because I wanted to, and because, at a certain point the process became more valuable than the end product. I felt more immersed in the world. I looked out of a familiar window at a familiar view and I saw beauty that I had not seen the day before, and I took nothing for granted.

I have no spouse and no children that I am aware of. Should I outlive my parents, which I think is unlikely as I am rather unwell, I will withdraw from social contact. I will speak to no-one. I do not want to be remembered. I had a strange moment a few days ago: I was carrying the watering can across the lawn to the tap by the garage. It occurred to me 'I am ready to go'. It was more a gentle realisation than it was a passing notion. I will not ride out to meet death, but if it happened then I could accept it. I am at peace with a future where I am part of many different things while being conscious of nothing.

Nipples Ultra's avatar

About your grandfather: there are corporate historians. There may be somebody in the discipline who has a good file on Shell. Note that Royal Dutch Shell had to function during WW2, and there's a lot to forget about that.

My Dad worked at Aerojet (rocket builders) in Sacramento in the 1950s & 1960s. I found a record (vinyl) that was the VP of Aerojet reading aloud his memoir of the company's successes- the kind of corporate memorabilia that used to get created. Dad worked for some guys from Project Paperclip!

Jams O'Donnell's avatar

I like it, but is this just another of your stories?

Sam Redlark's avatar

This is real. My grandfather is a hard man to escape. I work at the desk / workbench that he build for my mother in front of a small bookcase he also built. My papers are weighted down by a rectangular off-cut of marble from One Shell Plaza in Houston, Texas. On a high shelf to my right there is a shard of rock that he took a liking to and somehow fixed to a wooden base. Behind me, on a desk that he bought for me lies a shard of ancient pottery he fished off the seabed while snorkeling in the Mediterranean. All these things have stories attached to them; some that I know and some that I don't. That might be a good way of being remembered. Acquire physical objects that have a personal resonance - things your family can look at that will kindle reminiscence.

Nipples Ultra's avatar

Yeah, I have my Dad's work rolodex and some personal things: bolos which i have not worn yet, slide rules that I don't know how to work.

My brother snagged the really awesome turquoise&silver-studded Navajo leather belt. He bought it in the 50s on a Reservation during a road trip across the US. Later, a Navajo silversmith said that they don't make things that beautiful for the tourists now, they only work that hard for family gifts.

Also, Dad made lawn sculptures from chunks of metal that were left over from explosions at work (rocket fuel manufacturer). Only my brother has room to display them.

Jams O'Donnell's avatar

Well. it's always hard to tell with you, Sam. Your on-line life is as far as I can tell, all a fiction, which you shelter behind. That's your privilege, of course, and nothing wrong with it. Most on-line stuff is fiction of some sort or other. Anyway, keep on truckin'.

Xiphias291's avatar

Not mediocre, not at all.

Wall's avatar

Beautiful text. I've been reading too much and I'm impressed. You need to write novels

Robert Morgan's avatar

Aurelian, you can certainly be proud of these essays as they have given myself and no doubt many other readers plenty of nourishing food for thought about the situation the West currently finds itself in.

Steve Finney.'s avatar

Reminds me of Kafka & Reginald Perrin while I got out of what was then back in the early eighties nothing like that which it evolved into - I did pay a price but "Non, je ne regrette rien" .

Davy Ro's avatar

. One rule I've always had since being 16 years old. I've never stayed in any job I didn't like. Which meant I would have to travel for work sometimes or most times. I never hang around if I feel unwanted or treat wrong. I'm nearing retirement now. I always pushed myself to be as good as possible at what I do. This has lead me to be very confident in my line of work. I know I'm very good at my job. If I don't or didn't like a job I would leave at the drop of a hat. Regardless if I had anything lined up. But If I was treat well & appreciated. The main contractor I would be working for. Knew fine well I would never let them down & always go the extra mile for them & the job. This leads to gaining a good reputation in your chosen career. Then the rest takes after itself. I've had a great career & a happy life. I'm blessed with a fantastic Wife & family. Who all know I've always put them 1st & will to my dieing day. Sometimes I've suffered with a lot of physical pain to achieve this. But I've learnt to live with it. There's always many a lot worse off than me. I'll retire spending at least 6 months of the year abroad in a warmer climate. Where we love to go in family holidays. I have extended family already out there. I'm very lucky but I've worked hard all of my life. I think I've earned a good retirement as my wife has also. My little story is the anecdote to this miserable depressing description of some cowards life in my opinion. If you're asleep & too cowardly to wake up to the way your life is. When it's unhappy & miserable. As the old saying goes " you reap what you sow" I sow happiness. Be brave be confident in yourself & realise. Everything doesn't come to you on a plate. That only happens to rich entitled arseholes. Who don't deserve any respect from anyone. The amount of wealth you have, is no reflection on you or how happy you are or will be. It's nice to have money & be comfortable. But it's also nice to know you earned that money off your own back. Rely on yourself no one is going to do you favours before they do them for themselves. They'll only let you down. Don't stay anywhere that makes you unhappy. Do what's best for you & your families. Never be afraid to speak up for yourself, no one else will do it for you. Always put happiness above money.

Stuart MacKay's avatar

I think y'all are missing the point. This is the outcome in a transactional world where your value is simply defined by your utility to the system, much like the utility of a pencil. If you want a life with a purpose you must create a world where 'purpose' is the goal and let people pursue that to the best of their ability. I'd bet people would be happier with that, and everyone would reap the benefits.

Dave Pollard's avatar

Actually, in real 'boiling frog' experiments the frog jumps out as soon as it gets too hot. But then frogs are not enculturated the way humans are. We're not smart enough to do what frogs do.

When you go down the non-duality rabbit hole one of the first shocks you receive is the discovery that you have no free will (and the scientists now agree). And the second is that there is no separate 'you' or 'You' to have free will. So no one 'wakes up' or even can. All our behaviour is simply the result of our biological and cultural conditioning, given the circumstances of the moment.

Thinking about that is what entertains me in my retirement.

lathechuck's avatar

Do the people who make such arguments (against free will) acknowledge that they have no choice but to make such arguments? And do they then accept that we have no choice as to believe them or not, regardless of their arguments?

Dave Pollard's avatar

I would say they have no choice as to whether they would acknowledge the former and accept the latter.

Jams O'Donnell's avatar

The 'scientists' who assert that we have no free-will, are a) deluded and wrong, and b) arrogant, as is normal for many who are consumed by an ideology.

Despite what such people believe, there is no actual indisputable proof for such an assertion - it is only a proposition which they find congenial as it supports, and is supported by, their other assumptions, such as naive materialism.

Rafael's avatar

Me ha encantado la historia, me gustaría hacer una radio ficción con ella. Nombrandote a ti y a tu blog por supuesto.Me presento: Soy Rafael Montávez y participó en un programa radiofónico desde una emisora comunitaria llamado "La bicicleta" un magazine donde a veces incluimos una sección llamada " Memorias de la explotación", relatos basados en historias reales para denunciar la alienación en el trabajo. Muchas gracias de antemano Aurelien y enhorabuena por tu blog.

Marco Zeloni's avatar

My italian translation, here:

"L'uomo che quasi si svegliò.

Un racconto trovato nascosto in un libro di testo sulle risorse umane."

https://trying2understandw.blogspot.com/2025/03/luomo-che-quasi-si-sveglio-un-racconto.html

Aurelien's avatar

Thanks as always Marco.

Thomas Cleary's avatar

Know yourself. Once you do you’ll understand how life should be lived.

ilicitano's avatar

-

Aurélien's text, *The Man Who Nearly Woke Up*, explores the reflections of an individual at the end of their career, grappling with feelings of dissatisfaction and questions about their life, work, and existence.

1. The weight of work and identity:

The protagonist, on the verge of retirement, realizes that their identity was entirely shaped by the organization they served. Despite growing disdain for the institution, they still crave its recognition.

2. Organizational changes:

The text describes the gradual degradation of the work environment, highlighting increased bureaucracy, a loss of clarity, and organizational inefficiencies.

3. Personal reflections:

The individual questions their achievements, expressing regret over missed opportunities and the choices they made, feeling unfulfilled both professionally and personally.

4. A symbolic introspection:

Through an imagined dialogue with a therapist-like figure, the protagonist confronts three philosophical questions:

- What they are most proud of in life.

- Their regrets and the choices they would make differently.

- How they wish to be remembered.

5. The metaphorical awakening:

The narrative discusses the concept of "waking up" in a Buddhist sense, where most people live their lives on autopilot, bound by societal expectations.

This awakening does not necessarily bring comfort but rather forces the protagonist to confront their existence.

6. Final melancholy:

Upon leaving the office for the last time, the individual is consumed by thoughts about their future, family relationships, and the routines of retirement, shadowed by an existential void.

*********

Some parallels could be drawn between Aurélien's narrative and the life of a renowned diplomat or senior public servant, without specifying any names :

1. A life shaped by work:

Like the protagonist in the text, a career dedicated to public service, involving diplomatic and political responsibilities, can often absorb most of one's personal identity, leaving limited room for independent aspirations.

2. Confrontation with structural changes:

Major organizations, whether diplomatic or administrative, frequently undergo bureaucratic shifts.

These changes can lead to a loss of purpose for those who once believed in their idealistic missions.

3. Reflections on legacy:

Similar to the narrative's character who ponders their actions, a person with significant responsibilities might question the enduring impact of their professional commitments and how they will be perceived post-retirement.

4. Complex human relationships:

Just as the narrator speaks about strained family ties, a career marked by extensive travel, demanding schedules, and constant pressures can challenge personal relationships with loved ones.

5. A lucid view of the era:

Aurélien's narrative expresses critical observations of the societal and epochal context, resembling the mindset of figures who analyze geopolitical dynamics and social trends from a detached perspective.

These parallels provide insight into the sacrifices, challenges, and nuances of a life dedicated to public service and professional engagement.

lathechuck's avatar

Is this just an AI "summary" of the story? If so, why would one bother to publish it? If not, why is there no personal voice to the post?

The promise of AI is that "everything will be wonderful if we can just FIND and ARRANGE the right words". The world of matter, energy, and spirit is wider than that!

ilicitano's avatar

Hello Lathechuck,

Your comment comes at the right time.

First of all, I’m writing from France, and my English is mediocre.

So, when I write on this blog and read it—which I’ve been doing for a short time—I use AI translation to understand Aurelien’s text and then translate it into English.

I also get help from AI, and my comments are a mix of personal writing and AI-generated content.

I have never met Aurelien, but I think I know who he is and what he has contributed to France in his previous roles.

The second part of my comment tried to draw a parallel between the article’s content, which must affect him personally, and the significant dedication he demonstrated in his previous roles.

Contrary to what you say, AI is a very powerful tool that can provide valuable assistance without undermining personal reflection.

Finally, Lathechuck, it would have been nice if you had shared your thoughts on the comment I wrote.

Stefano's avatar

Great story and well written! (but a tad bit too depressing for me right now)

At least he realizes the futility of his work. That comment about his daughter, her husband and their kids is a peach. And I'm not sure if the psychologist is Jesus or Neuralink, but it works great in the story!